Safe In The Arms Of Love
by BlueMoonFan
Summary: Based on the Song, According To You....Gillian looks back on her relationships and how they make her feel.....


I had the idea the other night. It's based on the song, "According To You" by Orianthai.

_**According to you  
I'm stupid,  
I'm useless,  
I can't do anything right. **_

Gillian sat on the couch in her office. She was talking on the phone to Alec or trying to anyway. At this point Alec was doing most of the talking. She was managing to hold the tears at bay this time. She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of him making her cry.

"Honestly Gillian, why can't you be smarter about these things? You need to make time for me. Because at this point you're really useless as a wife. You can't do anything the way I want them done."

She'd been hearing this type of thing for years. For nearly as long as they've been married. The only thing that she had to look forward to everyday was coming to work. At least she could get away from his never ending tirades about how stupid and useless she was. It was nice being treated like the adult she was instead of a little kid.

_**According to you  
I'm difficult,  
Hard to please,  
Forever changing my mind.  
I'm a mess in a dress,**_

According to Alec, she was difficult. This was mostly because she refused to give into his demands that she quit working. She knew that he wanted her to stay at home and keep their little home perfect. Something that she could never do.

She was also hard to please. That one made her laugh because she thought that she was rather easy to please. This mostly stemed from the fact that she loved reading a good book rather than going out on the town getting drunk.

Alec also thought that she changed her mind too often to suit him. This was funny because the only reason the did it was to satisfy his demands that she be there for him whenever he wanted her.

He always made fun of the way she dressed for work. Calling her dresses, ugly and plain. She figured that was because she didn't dress like his sluts of the week. Yeah, she knew all about his affairs. Somehow, she managed to overlook them. Why she did this, she would never know.

_**Can't show up on time,  
Even if it would save my life.  
According to you. According to you. **_

Another one of her many faults. She could never be on time when they had something planned for the evening. She tried telling him that sometimes they would have an unexpected case that the final clue popped into place. He never understood that. Which was the cause of many fights between them. He even said that if it was a choice betweeen getting someplace on time or dying, she'd choose the dying.

She'd tried to explain it to him, but he never understood her point of view. According to Alec, she put her job above everything else.

_**But according to him  
I'm beautiful,  
Incredible,  
He can't get me out of his head. **_

Then there was the other man in her life. Cal Lightman was her best friend and partner. He couldn't get enough of her. Despite everything Alec had ever told her, he made her feel like she was the most important person in the world.

Cal had told her that she was beautiful on more than occasion. She'd always taken it for what it was. He'd always been the one person that believed in her. No matter what. He'd even told her once that he couldn't stop thinking about her. She'd just smiled at him and hugged him tightly.

_**According to him  
I'm funny,  
Irresistible,  
Everything he ever wanted.  
Everything is opposite,**_

She'd made him laugh on more than one occasion. She loved the way he made her feel lik he couldn't resist touching and talking to her.

When had it turned from friendship into something so much more? He told me that he was everything he ever wanted. How could that be? How could the man she married care less, but the one that she shared her professional life with, want her more than anything in the world?

_**I don't feel like stopping it,  
So baby tell me what I got to lose.  
He's into me for everything I'm not,  
According to you. **_

She loved feeling important to someone again. It had been so long since she'd felt special. She looked at it as a gift. She'd been given a second chance at love. The question was, would she be smart enough to take the chance that was being given her.

He loved her for everything that Alec hated her for. According to Alec, no one would ever love her. Cal loved her for all the reasons that Alec didn't. Alec's love always felt like a curse more than a gift. She wanted to go back and rewind time to the day of their wedding and stop herself from making the biggest mistake of her life.

_**According to you  
I'm boring,  
I'm moody,  
You can't take me any place.  
According to you **_

Alec was on another one of his many tirades. This time, it was because she'd failed to laugh at one of the many jokes that his boss had told. It hadn't been very funny and honestly, it was mean. So, he accused her of being boring. Boring? Just because she didn't like a stupid joke. She'd just rolled her eyes and walked away.

Alec hadn't liked that at all and accused her of being moody. She'd simply said nothing as she kept walking. Then he went on to tell her that he wouldn't and couldn't take her anyplace. According to him, she was the biggest loser on the face of the earth.

She was always second guessing herself and why she stayed with Alec.

_**I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.  
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;  
You're the boy who puts up with it.  
According to you. According to you. **_

Once again, Gillian was the butt of another one of Alec's tirades. She'd tried to tell a joke and ended up botching it. He'd rolled his eyes and explained that she wasn't good at telling jokes. It had made her feel about five inches tall and she'd wanted to crawl under the table.

Then of course, there was her attention span. He'd told her that she couldn't concentrate on anything and that he put up with her because he loved her and felt sorry for her.

Loved her? How could he love her and talk to her like that? She wondered if his love was some sort of sick joke. According to Alec, nothing about her was right or perfect or happy.

_**I need to feel appreciated,  
Like I'm not hated. oh no  
Why can't you see me through his eyes?  
It's too bad you're making me decide**_

Maybe, just maybe it was time to leave him. She needed to feel like she was loved again. She needed to be seen through Cal's eyes and not through the eyes of someone that hated every single thing about her.

That's why she finally decided to leave him. For good. So, she divorced him and started her life all over again. Without Alec and the neverending barrage of put downs. She felt better and better with each day that passed.

Today, she told Cal that she loved him. Cal had smiled at her and told her, "I know. I've just been waiting for you to come to your senses luv...."

They kissed and the rest of the world faded away as she felt safe for the first time in her life. Safe in the arms of love....


End file.
